The following is a list of frequently asked questions designed to help you make an informed choice about your couples therapist or counselor.
Read through the questions carefully. If the answers align with your expectations, we may be a good therapy match.
Are you accepting new clients?
At the moment, I do have one or two openings, provided you can be seen Monday through Friday, between the hours of 8:30 AM and 3:00 PM. Prior to scheduling an initial, face-to-face meeting, I set up a free, fifteen-minute phone consultation with one or both partners to see if it's a good fit.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy or couples counseling is a series of face-to-face conversations designed to help you and your partner improve your relationship.
What approach do you use in couples counseling?
I tend to borrow heavily from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This model posits that unacknowledged emotions are the primary driver of our actions, even (and especially) when we are unaware of these emotions. Partners often rely on non-productive behaviors, like yelling, withdrawing, and even infidelity to express themselves. These behaviors often stem from our families of origin and can contribute significantly to relationship distress.
EFT is great for enhancing intimacy because it helps partners access and express their feelings more constructively. When we operate from our highest selves, we raise the level of trust and connection in our primary relationships. Sound good to you? Click here to contact me for a free phone consultation to see if couples counseling is right for you and your partner.
How long is a couples counseling session?
Each session lasts approximately 50 minutes.
How frequently will we meet?
I like to meet weekly for the first eight weeks to establish a firm foothold. Once couples start to notice change, we can talk about spacing out the visits.
Do you work with couples together or separately?
Couples therapists differ greatly on this issue. It is my preference to meet once with both partners for the first visit. After that, I meet once individually with each partner and then again with both partners to talk about therapy goals. On a rare occasion, I may find it necessary to meet more than once individually with one or both partners but this does not happen often.
Individual meetings are used for the purposes of obtaining personal information. They are not individual therapy sessions. Should you want individual therapy while you are doing couples work, I can provide you with a referral to another qualified professional for this purpose.
Do you work with gay and lesbian couples?
Absolutely! I have worked extensively with gay and lesbian couples, so I understand the unique issues they face.
How long will couples therapy last?
The duration of couples therapy often depends upon the length of time non-productive communication patterns have been occurring in the relationship. Typically, the longer these patterns have been reinforced, the longer it takes to unlearn them. Your relationship is worth the time and effort!
Someone I know tried couples counseling and then broke up. Is this a likely outcome?
A good couples therapist or counselor encourages the safe uncovering of each partner's true feelings. Sometimes counseling helps couples discover a deep connection they never knew was possible!
There are also times in therapy when couples discover the gap between them is too wide to bridge. Is this failure? I don't think so. I believe that every partner is a teacher. Some lessons are meant to last a lifetime, while others are meant for only a season. When viewed this way, there is no failure. There is only learning.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance?
The vast majority of insurance plans do not cover couples counseling. I encourage you to contact your insurance company directly and ask if couples services are covered under your plan. Click here to get your financial questions answered.
We think we are ready to give it a try. What do we do now?
Simple. Click here to email your request for a complimentary, fifteen-minute phone consultation. The consultation allows for you to relay your experience of the issue and for me to see if I might be a good fit. If I am unable to assist you, I can provide referrals to great therapists in the community who can.