Separation & Divorce Counseling 

~ Good divorces are possible. Yours can be one of them. ~

Are you:
  • tired of fighting with your partner?
  • convinced you and your spouse have exhausted every option?
  • feeling like you and your spouse might be happier apart?
  • worried about what will happen to your children if you and your partner were to separate?

You're not alone. Roughly fifty percent of couples will reach the point where living separate lives feels like the healthiest option. 

Even when it is the right decision, separation and divorce are accompanied by many complicated feelings: yours, your former spouse's, your children's.  In the eye of the storm, it can be difficult to see the path forward. 

Divorce counseling and support can help you and your partner move forward in a healthy way.

What is a "good divorce"?

A good divorce is one where co-parent conflict is minimal and, when issues do arise, they are kept completely separate from the children. ​
Children thrive in safe, predictable living environments wherein they feel free to love both parents, equally. The safer children feel, the more they can access their own natural resilience, the better they fare after separation and divorce.

As a therapist and counselor who specializes in facilitating healthy divorces, I can help you and your former partner navigate your differences and put your children first.

​All it takes is a commitment to honor your child or children. If you've got that, then you are already on your way. ​

How can separation or divorce counseling help?

With so much going on, there's a lot to consider:
  • How do we move forward when only one of us wants to separate?
  • How, what, and when do we tell our child or children?
  • How do we design a residential schedule that best suits our family?
  • How do we minimize the unwanted impact of divorce on our child or children?
  • How do we live separately when our lives are so intertwined?
  • What will happen with friends and family once we are no longer married?
  • What will happen when a stepparent or stepchildren enters the picture?
Even though it is no longer working, a marriage is still part of the shape each family member associates with safety and security. When the family shape changes due to separation or divorce, everyone's world is turned upside down.

Divorcing spouses can benefit from a safe, collaborative space to sort through their feelings so they can better decide what is in the best interest of their child or children.  A divorce therapist can facilitate this process.

If we have a divorce therapist, do we still need attorneys?

If you and your partner decide to separate and you were legally married, at some point, a legal separation or divorce will need to be in place. Typically, each partner enlists an attorney to assist with this process.

​This does not mean that you and your partner will spend years embroiled in a heated legal battle. In fact, the research suggests that no one (but the attorneys) benefits from such an arrangement.  Click here to learn more about peaceful pathways to divorce.

Divorce and co-parenting therapy can help reduce the overall amount of time and money you and your partner will spend on divorce proceedings. 

What if my former spouse is unwilling to seek help? 

While it is ideal for both parents to seek help jointly, because your child or children will be spending time with you independently, you can still benefit from individual support. 

I'm already divorced and need help co-parenting with my ex. Can you help?

Absolutely.  Click here for more information. 

~ Divorce counseling helps families move forward in a healthy way ~

Online booking now available

Separation ~ Divorce ~ Death ~ Grief ~ Loss ~ Mid-life issues

Phinney ~ Greenwood ~ North Seattle

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Featured Article

How To Build A Strong Co-parenting Relationship
(Even When You Don't Really Feel Like It)

Compartmentalization is the psychological curtain that slides closed when our feelings get too messy, uncomfortable, or inconvenient. Find compartmentalization and you will often find judgment--for the CEO who delivers inspirational speeches to shareholders from whom he is bilking millions. For the spouse who kisses her unsuspecting husband goodnight before heading downstairs to check the Tinder account. It’s easy to judge compartmentalization when it is used to facilitate subpar behavior. 

But every card has two sides.

When used appropriately, compartmentalization can help divorcing spouses build and maintain a constructive co-parenting relationship.

Figuring out how to divide time with children, financial resources, and possessions can be a Herculean task, especially when we neither asked for nor wanted a divorce. Exes can easily become triggers or targets for our anger--sometimes even our rage. 

Anger, like all dark emotions, serves a specific purpose.

In divorce, anger can help us forge the distance needed to heal the wounds of loss. Furthermore, when channeled appropriately, anger can fuel the rocket ship that propels us toward a new, post-divorce life.

But here’s where things get tricky. 

The most reliable predictor of children’s post-divorce adjustment is how well they are (and continue to be) protected from adult feelings and conflicts. 

In other words, the anger we need to feel in order to heal is the very emotion we must filter away from our children and out of our co-parenting relationship. Healthy compartmentalization helps give kids the needed space to work through their own divorce-related feelings, without feeling burdened by ours.