Grief therapy or counseling can help you cope. 
Every one of us will one day find ourselves in the painful gap between life as we hoped it would be and life as it unfolded.  

I'm guessing you decided to seek grief therapy or counseling because you are currently in that gap. Maybe you've lost someone or something you love, Perhaps you're facing a change or stressor that you neither chose nor wanted.

​Regardless of the reason you decided to seek therapy or counseling, both you and your grief are welcome here.
In the space created by grief, there is potential and possibility: for deeper connection with yourself, closer relationships with others, and greater clarity about who you are now and what matters most to you.  Put more simply, your grief is the portal to your growth.  

It's okay if none of this seems believable in this moment. It's also okay if you have no idea what to do or *how* to do it.  "HOW" stands for 'Honesty, Openness and the Willingness to keep trying.' If you have these three things, you've got what it takes to rebuild your life after loss.  Grief therapy can help you do that!

Grief therapy or counseling can help you cope with:  

  • the death of someone you love: a spouse or intimate partner, parent, child, extended family member, or friend.   
  • ​the stress of caring for a sick loved one.
  • anticipatory grief for an impending death or loss.
  • chronic or life-limiting illness. 
  • the breakup of a romantic relationship or friendship.
  • job loss
  • miscarriage or stillbirth
  • pet loss
  • estrangement from a parent, child, or family member​
  • existential concerns
  • important or difficult life transitions (mid-life changes, divorce, retirement, end-of-life conversations, etc.)
You deserve to feel well-supported in the space your grief is creating for you.  I invite you to click below and follow the steps to request a complimentary phone consultation.  This will help us both determine if what I offer is a good match for what you are seeking.

​I look forward to hearing from you!

Death ~ Breakup ~ Separation ~ Divorce ~ Grief ~ Loss ~ Mid-life issues

AS FEATURED ON

Phinney ~ Greenwood ~ North Seattle

Featured Article

"8 Ways To Help Yourself Through The Early Stages Of Grief "

Early grief is a basket of contradictions. The pain tells us to “do” something but everything hurts and there is nothing we want to do. We want the pain to stop but letting it go feels like a betrayal: of the deceased, of us, of our grief. We long for supportive company but accepting well-intended offers from people who have no idea what we are going through makes us feel even more alone.

In moments like these, our pain seems unsoothable: nothing can be done or said to make it dissipate. 

It’s okay to long for the life you had with your loved one. And, it is equally important to keep going forward with life as it is now. 

There’s a good chance you feel as sad as you do because you deeply loved someone and because you were deeply loved in return. The truest form of love is the unselfish wish for another to be happy, even when we cannot be with them in physical form. By continuing to care for yourself, you are not only honoring the person you lost, you are stepping toward your own aliveness. Which, conveniently, happens to be the best forward path after loss. We do this slowly, one moment, one day, one week at a time. 

Here are a few tips to help reconnect you with your own aliveness: 

  1. Thank your grief.  Thoughts will sometimes tell us we should be anywhere other than where we are. This is the brain’s benevolent, albeit ineffective, attempt at willing the body into a more pleasant emotional state. When feelings don’t have full permission to exist, they attach themselves to us in unhealthy ways. Pain is a normal, necessary part of the healing process. Welcome it. Say a quiet “thank you” to your grief for helping you heal. Do this, even if it feels like you’re going through the motions. (Sidebar: you will feel like you’re going through the motions--pretty much all of the time--for a good while after someone dies. This is normal.)
  2. Break the day into chunks. During the darkest times, the idea of getting through an entire day can feel impossible. I recommend breaking the day into chunks: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime. Congratulate yourself when you reach the threshold of each chunk.
  3. Start small and celebrate often.  Set small goals for yourself each day.  “Shower before breakfast” or “Make and eat a sandwich” count as goals. Be creative. This living thing is hard. When you achieve each goal, give yourself a hearty back pat. You deserve it!
  4. Find your tribe. Grief starts to resemble despair when it is done in isolation. Humans are social creatures. Seeking out others who are also rebuilding their lives after loss is a tangible way to honor grief. Find a support group in your area and join it.  Go at least three times before deciding if it's right for you. So many grievers will say that finding their tribe was the single most important step they took in the healing process.
  5. Move your body.  Emotions are physical events—we can literally move through them. Find a safe, doable form of physical activity and set a goal to do it for 15-30 minutes per day.
  6. Stretch beyond your comfort zone. Avoiding new things because they scare us  is like pouring gasoline on the embers of fear. Fortunately, the reverse is also true. The embers of happiness, joy, excitement, and contentment cannot be spotted from your couch. One way to spread the flames of your own aliveness is to make a list of one or two small things that are outside of your comfort zone (and your couch). Do them, even if you don’t really want to.  Repeat until these activities are part of your new comfort zone.
  7. Speak kindly to yourself.  We are more likely to advocate for people we like so, when you are in pain, speak to yourself as if you are a valued friend.  Gently remind yourself that you are doing your best to take care of yourself.
  8. Be patient. “Other people expect me to be over it by now” is one of the most common phrases I hear from my bereavement counseling clients. While others may have shifted their focus to the news of the day, their shift in focus does not diminish your loss. Nor is it a mandate to stop tending to your grief.  Building a new life shape takes time. Give yourself the time you deserve.

Speaking of time, now may be a good one to remind you that, everything, even your pain, is designed to be temporary. You will hurt for a while but you won't feel this way forever. With each day that passes, each forward step you take, you are succeeding are rebuilding your life. And that is more than enough. 
​