Compassionate Support For Loss, Healing & Renewal
Losing someone or something you love can feel overwhelming, isolating, and disorienting. You may be struggling to recognize your life, your relationships and even yourself. You may feel worried about being left behind by a world that expects you to heal faster, to move on, to 'get over it' (like that's even a thing!).
The truth is that we don't get over grief. Grief cannot be rushed. Grief must be felt. Grief demands and deserves loving witness.
Whether you're coping with the death of a loved one, a major life transition, or another form of loss, you don’t have to go through it alone.
The truth is that we don't get over grief. Grief cannot be rushed. Grief must be felt. Grief demands and deserves loving witness.
Whether you're coping with the death of a loved one, a major life transition, or another form of loss, you don’t have to go through it alone.
Amidst the pain of grief there is also possibility: for deeper connection with yourself, closer relationships with others, and greater clarity about who you are now and who you want to become. Grief therapy won't help you 'get over' anything. But it can help you learn to carry your loss differently.
Regardless of the reason you decided to seek counseling, your grief is welcome here.
People Seek Grief Counseling With Me When They...
- feel overwhelmed by the weight or intensity of their pain
- are struggling to accept what happened
- are experiencing intrusive thoughts about the most difficult aspects of their loss
- have difficulty envisioning the future
- notice that even simple tasks now feel too difficult or overwhelming
- experience frequent crying spells or irritability
- notice a significant change in sleep or appetite
- are using distraction (alcohol, drugs, shopping, TV, etc.) to numb or manage their pain
- notice relationships that once felt 'easy' now feel confusing or difficult to manage
- want to learn how to move forward in a healthy way
Grief Counseling Can Help You Cope With...
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Why Grief Therapy With Me Is Different...
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After Grief Therapy With Me, Clients Report...
- feeling more like themselves again
- a deeper sense of peace and calm
- greater clarity about where they are and where they want to go
- relief from unwanted or intrusive thoughts about the most difficult parts of their story
- feeling more confident
- feeling hopeful about the future
Reclaim Your Life
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Schedule your free consultation todayThe phone consultation is an opportunity for both of us to determine if what I offer is a good fit for your counseling needs. If it's a match, we will book the first appointment from there.
If either of us feels that someone with a different style or skillset would better serve you, I will help you find that person! Click the button below and fill out the contact form there. I will be in touch within one business day to book our call. |
In-Person & Virtual Services - Death - Breakup - Separation - Divorce - Grief - Loss - Life Transitions
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Phinney - Greenwood - North Seattle
Featured Article
"8 Ways To Help Yourself Through The Early Stages Of Grief "
Early grief is a basket of contradictions. The pain tells us to “do” something but everything hurts and there is nothing we want to do. We want the pain to stop but letting it go feels like a betrayal: of the deceased, of us, of our grief. We long for supportive company but accepting well-intended offers from people who have no idea what we are going through makes us feel even more alone.
In moments like these, our pain seems unsoothable: nothing can be done or said to make it dissipate.
It’s okay to long for the life you had with your loved one. And, it is equally important to keep going forward with life as it is now.
There’s a good chance you feel as sad as you do because you deeply loved someone and because you were deeply loved in return. The truest form of love is the unselfish wish for another to be happy, even when we cannot be with them in physical form. By continuing to care for yourself, you are not only honoring the person you lost, you are stepping toward your own aliveness. Which, conveniently, happens to be the best forward path after loss. We do this slowly, one moment, one day, one week at a time.
Here are a few tips to help reconnect you with your own aliveness:
Speaking of time, now may be a good one to remind you that, everything, even your pain, is designed to be temporary. You will hurt for a while but you won't feel this way forever. With each day that passes, each forward step you take, you are succeeding are rebuilding your life. And that is more than enough.
In moments like these, our pain seems unsoothable: nothing can be done or said to make it dissipate.
It’s okay to long for the life you had with your loved one. And, it is equally important to keep going forward with life as it is now.
There’s a good chance you feel as sad as you do because you deeply loved someone and because you were deeply loved in return. The truest form of love is the unselfish wish for another to be happy, even when we cannot be with them in physical form. By continuing to care for yourself, you are not only honoring the person you lost, you are stepping toward your own aliveness. Which, conveniently, happens to be the best forward path after loss. We do this slowly, one moment, one day, one week at a time.
Here are a few tips to help reconnect you with your own aliveness:
- Thank your grief. Thoughts will sometimes tell us we should be anywhere other than where we are. This is the brain’s benevolent, albeit ineffective, attempt at willing the body into a more pleasant emotional state. When feelings don’t have full permission to exist, they attach themselves to us in unhealthy ways. Pain is a normal, necessary part of the healing process. Welcome it. Say a quiet “thank you” to your grief for helping you heal. Do this, even if it feels like you’re going through the motions. (Sidebar: you will feel like you’re going through the motions--pretty much all of the time--for a good while after someone dies. This is normal.)
- Break the day into chunks. During the darkest times, the idea of getting through an entire day can feel impossible. I recommend breaking the day into chunks: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime. Congratulate yourself when you reach the threshold of each chunk.
- Start small and celebrate often. Set small goals for yourself each day. “Shower before breakfast” or “Make and eat a sandwich” count as goals. Be creative. This living thing is hard. When you achieve each goal, give yourself a hearty back pat. You deserve it!
- Find your tribe. Grief starts to resemble despair when it is done in isolation. Humans are social creatures. Seeking out others who are also rebuilding their lives after loss is a tangible way to honor grief. Find a support group in your area and join it. Go at least three times before deciding if it's right for you. So many grievers will say that finding their tribe was the single most important step they took in the healing process.
- Move your body. Emotions are physical events—we can literally move through them. Find a safe, doable form of physical activity and set a goal to do it for 15-30 minutes per day.
- Stretch beyond your comfort zone. Avoiding new things because they scare us is like pouring gasoline on the embers of fear. Fortunately, the reverse is also true. The embers of happiness, joy, excitement, and contentment cannot be spotted from your couch. One way to spread the flames of your own aliveness is to make a list of one or two small things that are outside of your comfort zone (and your couch). Do them, even if you don’t really want to. Repeat until these activities are part of your new comfort zone.
- Speak kindly to yourself. We are more likely to advocate for people we like so, when you are in pain, speak to yourself as if you are a valued friend. Gently remind yourself that you are doing your best to take care of yourself.
- Be patient. “Other people expect me to be over it by now” is one of the most common phrases I hear from my bereavement counseling clients. While others may have shifted their focus to the news of the day, their shift in focus does not diminish your loss. Nor is it a mandate to stop tending to your grief. Building a new life shape takes time. Give yourself the time you deserve.
Speaking of time, now may be a good one to remind you that, everything, even your pain, is designed to be temporary. You will hurt for a while but you won't feel this way forever. With each day that passes, each forward step you take, you are succeeding are rebuilding your life. And that is more than enough.
